My heart goes shalalala, shalala in the morning, shalalala, shalala in the sunshine... What? Isn’t this the car the guys over at Kia have built for Vengaboys? I though this is the way Koreans are paying a tribute to Vengaboys’success... You do know that I’m one of their biggest fans, don’t you? I even have a tattoo with Kim Sasabone’s face in one of the private parts but only a few lucky girls had the chance to see it.
I see these guys at Kia are really optimistic. Truth is, after their huge success with the cee’d, it’s pretty natural to expect the same from your next models.
But Venga is awful. It’s terrible to see a car that develops only 90 horsepower driven on the same roads as the rest of those „real” cars which at least make you feel something. I don’t know why, but Venga makes me feel empty, I had the same feeling when the girl I lost my virginity to dumped me.
More, it’s shocking to find out that it reaches 100 km/h in almost 15 seconds. Shocking, I’m telling you! What the heck, I run faster than this car and I’m not even burning fuel or release harmful gases. It only happens after I eat some beans, but this doesn’t happen more often than once a week.
If you’re asking me, I like the fact that it has so many storage spaces. And the trunk is absolutely huge, especially if you agree to fold the rear seats. If I’ll ever buy a Venga, I intend to build a dog house in the trunk for my girlfriend’s pink poodle. Do you know how it feels to hear a poodle making chocking sounds every time you and your girlfriend play naked scrabble?
Anyway, Kia Venga should be prohibited on the whole planet, not only because it has such a weak engine but also because it’s a shame to see such cars on public roads. I’m telling you, if I were Kia’s boss, I’d stop production right now!