Listen guys , I don't like Dodge. I don't like... ahem... 'merican cars in general actually. Not that Dodge is a bad... ahem... car brand. Although come to think of it, its connection with the Al Bundy character from the "Married with children" ... ahem series wasn't exactly doing it any favors.
The main problem in my part is the following: considering that Chrysler LLC could be months away from bankruptcy, buying an... ahem... Journey would sure as hell help them. And you know how I like kicking a man when he's down, instead of... ahem... giving him a hand.
Also, I know I probably shouldn't tell you this but I'm both a mason and a scientology follower, so I believe in higher powers. Have you even looked at Dodge's... ahem... badge? It's a goddamn satanic symbol! Don't tell me I'm the first one to... ahem... notice that the ram symbol looks like the "unholy one", come on!
Now imagine the Journey colored in black with a few red touches. Ahem... this could actually look plain scary parked in a dark alley. Almost like a modern version of Stephen King's ... ahem..."Christine".
That interior already looks like this is a car for a "Journey" to hell. What more of a reason do you need to believe that... ahem... this car is possessed? There's no way I could ever carry my pack of pet albino chinchillas with this thing. The poor little guys might die of... ahem... fear. And to think that's a tractor engine underneath that preposterous hood. Do I look like a farmer to you? I OWN farms AND farmers, you nincompoops! Take this ludicrous four-wheeled creation out of my sight!