I always thought that Citroen were in the business of making ugly cars... ahem... not ugly aquariums on wheels. This was probably the first time I ever felt like my children's gold-plated goldfish while driving a car in the rain.
The entire car looks like a darn... ahem... aquarium, don't you agree? Inside, almost everywhere you look there's a friggin' window. Why would ever want to drive a car that looks like a mobile display case? Who do you think I am, the... ahem... Pope John Paul II or something?
Well, at least this actually "ends" with a somewhat normal rear, unlike that so-called C4 Coupe you guys made me... ahem... drive last summer. Either way, I was absolutely appalled by this French attempt at transportation. I've seen bread delivery vans that are sexier than this...ahem... abomination on wheels.
The only design bits I can honestly say are a bit... mildly attractive are the alloy rims. That black coated part really improves their look, while the four double spokes... ahem... remind me of a four leaf clover. That can only bring me good luck, right?
Wrong. Since during the test drive I was wearing a white bespoke Gieves & Hawkes suit and hat, people must have... ahem... confused me with the guy running the Vatican. At every traffic light I stopped I was adulated and cheered by crowds that came out of nowhere.
While I obviously enjoy being treated like a higher being on a daily... ahem... basis, being accosted by completed strangers who demand that I heal their disgusting diseases is an entirely different thing. Plus, I'm not the religious type anyway.
Speaking of sacred stuff, what does Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima... ahem... Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso have to do with a car that spawned 35 years later after his death? I know his full name because I have five of his paintings, and trust me... ahem... none of them are as ugly as this French atrocity.