I have avoided the SUV frenzy as much as I could... ahem... until Land Rover equipped the Range with a decent interior. Since that moment, every SUV... ahem... I drive is automatically compared with my British Racing Green Supercharged Range. You have really insulted my intelligence by giving me this... ahem... what is it exactly? A BMW X3?
It looks like it's a reshaped Lada station wagon that just... ahem... came out of a Latvian tuning garage. How were you expecting me to enjoy this... ahem... car other than watching it being crash tested? It doesn't even have a V8 under the hood. OK, so its diesel six cylinder has more torque than my... ahem... supercharged Range Rover... Who cares about torque anyway? OK, I do, but still, it uses the same technology as the tractors on my farms.
Oh, sweet heavens! That interior is totally absurd! The Darth Vader toy plastic is almost... ahem... vomit inducing. I thought the Krauts were renowned for their beautiful crafted... ahem... interiors. This BMW proves the exact opposite. Also, I didn't understand the idea behind the button arrangement on the center console. They look like someone just... ahem... threw them in the general direction of the dashboard after applying some glue.
I'm also not a fan of the interior space, it looks so small that the whole thing could fit in my Range's glove compartment and... ahem... still leave some room for my Cuban cigars. Why did they make it so big on the outside if I don't even have enough trunk volume available for my two homosexual Great Danes. How could those two lovebirds fit in that tiny space they call luggage compartment?