Pedigree of the brands - A Different View of the Story... ...Many of us own cars which come from rather famous brands. Plenty of times, even if you hate to admit it, the badge is the main reason to look at a certain car and, in the end, it's the decisive reason in actually choosing the "perfect"model. OK, there ... Continue reading >
100+ years since the invention of the self-propelled car, three new engines battle for a place in the automotive future. Which one do you see in your car 10 years from now?
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Test Drive: ALFA ROMEO MiTo 1.6 JTDm - 2009
Sir May B. Bach's Opinion
Bella machina... ahem... Cuore Sportivo... ahem... blah blah blah. Well, even I can oblige to everyone's opinion about the MiTo's design. Yes, I'm man enough to... ahem... admit it myself. The Alfa Romeo MiTo is a good-looking car, even though it's so tiny it could... ahem... fit in my Bentley's luggage compartment. There, I've said it, I like the way it... ahem... looks.
Now, getting back to some real talks about this Italian... ahem... piece of machinery. Let me tell you what I DON'T like about it. First of all, I can't bloody fit in it! Sure, those two doors look extra large from the outside, especially comparing them to the car's... ahem... body. Just try fitting a frame as large as mine through them, and then arriving into a claustrophobia-inducing... ahem... interior.
Second of all, what is exactly up with the ground clearance in the front of the car? It's so tiny you can't even fit your... ahem... palm under the front bumper. I realize they designed the MiTo with sporting drivers in mind, but until you reach a FIA-approved racetrack to... ahem... unleash its 120 horsepower, you have to drive it on regular roads. And regular roads sometimes have potholes and/or... ahem... sleeping policemen, aka speed bumps.
I mean it's Italian, sporty, red and all, but it's no Ferrari or Lamborghini. That's a big minus even if I would... ahem... properly fit in it. Speaking of performance... it has a despicable type of powerplant under the hood. It should be pretty obvious by now that I hate diesels, right? So why on Earth didn't you request to test a proper... ahem... gasoline engine version?
Let's see now, what are the only attractive points of this car? Erm, there's the beautiful exterior design, the... ahem... brand name and... that's about it. It's too low to be driven on quite a lot of poor roads. If you can imagine, it can't even be driven on my... ahem... rare marble-scattered driveway in front of my seventeen century castle. And my driveway is leveled every morning by no less than twenty of my servants!
Also, the diesel mill under the hood is obviously only built for... ahem... farming equipment. Which would almost be OK considering even that nutty Italian, by the name of Ferruccio Lamborghini, started by making tractors. Then again... ahem... this is no Lamborghini.
Now, getting back to some real talks about this Italian... ahem... piece of machinery. Let me tell you what I DON'T like about it. First of all, I can't bloody fit in it! Sure, those two doors look extra large from the outside, especially comparing them to the car's... ahem... body. Just try fitting a frame as large as mine through them, and then arriving into a claustrophobia-inducing... ahem... interior.
Second of all, what is exactly up with the ground clearance in the front of the car? It's so tiny you can't even fit your... ahem... palm under the front bumper. I realize they designed the MiTo with sporting drivers in mind, but until you reach a FIA-approved racetrack to... ahem... unleash its 120 horsepower, you have to drive it on regular roads. And regular roads sometimes have potholes and/or... ahem... sleeping policemen, aka speed bumps.
I mean it's Italian, sporty, red and all, but it's no Ferrari or Lamborghini. That's a big minus even if I would... ahem... properly fit in it. Speaking of performance... it has a despicable type of powerplant under the hood. It should be pretty obvious by now that I hate diesels, right? So why on Earth didn't you request to test a proper... ahem... gasoline engine version?
Let's see now, what are the only attractive points of this car? Erm, there's the beautiful exterior design, the... ahem... brand name and... that's about it. It's too low to be driven on quite a lot of poor roads. If you can imagine, it can't even be driven on my... ahem... rare marble-scattered driveway in front of my seventeen century castle. And my driveway is leveled every morning by no less than twenty of my servants!
Also, the diesel mill under the hood is obviously only built for... ahem... farming equipment. Which would almost be OK considering even that nutty Italian, by the name of Ferruccio Lamborghini, started by making tractors. Then again... ahem... this is no Lamborghini.
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So who is Sir May B. Bach?
Sir Bach is the richest member of our team. Maybe even the richest man in the Northern hemisphere. Fact is, we don't even know how does he get the time to participate on our test drives, considering he's usually busy taking his two homosexual Great Danes to the stylist, filling up his personal squadron of gold-plated Gulfstreams or petting his own pack of albino chinchillas.
Apparently, he was knighted after he made a very generous contribution to the Queen's treasury. The exact amount of money is unknown, but immediately after this, the British GDP miraculously rose with almost 5%. He really enjoys luxury and the finer things in life.
Favourite quote: “Luxury ruins republics; poverty, monarchies.” - Charles De Montesquieu
Apparently, he was knighted after he made a very generous contribution to the Queen's treasury. The exact amount of money is unknown, but immediately after this, the British GDP miraculously rose with almost 5%. He really enjoys luxury and the finer things in life.
Favourite quote: “Luxury ruins republics; poverty, monarchies.” - Charles De Montesquieu
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