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28th of January 2010 | 06:46 GMT | Charles Darveight 
Saab and Volvo. Return of the MILFs...
STORY HIGHLIGHTS:
- Both Saab and Volvo have been sold by their owners
- Saab went to Spyker while Volvo to the Chinese
… Saab engineers, who were already paid with money that don't exist, can now open the champagne bottles. The cheerful gang of 3,400 people, all Swedish and all brave and intelligent, will be able to continue making these “iconic cars” called Saabs.
The “hot dream” of those who like to kid themselves in thinking that they own an “exclusive” and “pure” Swedish car will continue to exist and to shred money and brain cells off any CEO unlucky enough to run such a company.
OK, they will be heavily competed by the Chinese from BAIC, but does that actually count for something? Things will move forward and they will be able to adopt their own Swedish philosophy of building cars, their own thoughts and innovative solutions which have lifted Saab's prestige towards the heavens.
An army of refrigerators pompously-named 9-5, 9-3, 9 dash whatever you want, will assassinate the patience of Saab faithful owners once again. Maybe some groundbreaking innovations will see the light of day, such as a two millimeter longer hood, or LED taillight (Wow!) or maybe, who knows, a complete surprise such as a six meter (twenty feet) long Saab that wants to be a “city compact”. Anything is possible.
God forbid should we dream and think about some decent engines because, you have to admit, it wouldn't be in the spirit of a Swedish brand or car. You see, for example, Volvo only uses two breathless powerplants besides the boat engine borrowed from Yamaha. OK, OK, specially created for Volvo by Yamaha...
But leaving the small engine impediment behind, since engines are an accessory to a Swedish car anyway, we will have everything. Maybe they will finally change that 1980s color for the dashboard lighting. That cheapish and 1980s-1990s USA-looking green. Maybe. Although I think it's part of Saab's heritage now.
In other words, an incredibly old car (albeit new), with extremely modest technologies although it desires to be modern, amazingly slow but “threatening” us with a revolutionary engine, etc. And big. Always bigger than the “competition”, more boat-like, more “luxurious”...
After being sodomized by GM for twenty years straight, Saab will finally be able to show the world what it can do. And how else could it do that besides partnering with another iconic brand, one which is throwing a party each time it sells a car – Spyker!
Spyker, along with the generous Swedish government, which collects taxes with the voracity of a T-Rex in full swing, thought that some of that dough might be “invested” in a local brand. Money is flowing anyway, so why not?
How else would they pay the salaries of over 3,400 people working for Saab? With the money of other people who are working to make a profit in order for Sweden to own some iconic brands in the oh-so exciting automotive world.
Either way, it will be interesting to watch the evolution of Saab, now that they can't really complain about GM's dictatorship anymore. For all that's fair, we had began to mistaken too many brands with Saab. From Opel to Subaru and a bit of Chevrolet, just about any GM car that could donate something was helping create this mutant on wheels called Saab.
Now they want to set themselves free and show us what a real Saab means. It is my right to doubt any commercial success but it's their right to try and contradict me.
And if you were wondering what's the common point between Spyker and Saab, there is actually one, just so you know. They're both selling so few cars they can actually compete each other. Even though their targets are way different. I'm actually afraid Spyker sales might actually be cannibalized by the acquisition of Saab.
Who knows? Maybe the rich and eccentric, who just wanted to feel alone on the road might switch to Saabs. I mean, they are expensive, they do break easily, so they have all the qualities of an exclusive car. Plus, you shouldn't forget the main quality: it's a Swedish car!
Now that that Saab saga is approaching a glorious ending, I'm anxiously awaiting the Volvo episode. Another soap opera that will spill a lot of tears and some Chinese capital and maybe, just maybe, another exclusive brand might also be left with an auto industry icon.
GM didn't make such a bad move after all, did it? I mean, if you buy something cheap, use it for twenty years and then sell it for good money... Doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Americans. This is why some people curse them on every occasion. They used to be beautiful, blonde, young models. Now GM and Ford are throwing them in the garbage bin and they're also getting money for it. Old, ugly and wrinkled, only the Chinese could still buy them. OK, the Dutch have never tried to have the highest morals at a given time before either...
They will find their place, probably in a Chinese village, where they are presented as Europeans in a red window display. Special, for the connoisseurs. Or together with a blue pill and a legal smoke. There. At their place. In Holland.
Say something bad about the Germans now!
Read by 14,307 users | Add comment | Link to this article |
The “hot dream” of those who like to kid themselves in thinking that they own an “exclusive” and “pure” Swedish car will continue to exist and to shred money and brain cells off any CEO unlucky enough to run such a company.
OK, they will be heavily competed by the Chinese from BAIC, but does that actually count for something? Things will move forward and they will be able to adopt their own Swedish philosophy of building cars, their own thoughts and innovative solutions which have lifted Saab's prestige towards the heavens.
An army of refrigerators pompously-named 9-5, 9-3, 9 dash whatever you want, will assassinate the patience of Saab faithful owners once again. Maybe some groundbreaking innovations will see the light of day, such as a two millimeter longer hood, or LED taillight (Wow!) or maybe, who knows, a complete surprise such as a six meter (twenty feet) long Saab that wants to be a “city compact”. Anything is possible.
God forbid should we dream and think about some decent engines because, you have to admit, it wouldn't be in the spirit of a Swedish brand or car. You see, for example, Volvo only uses two breathless powerplants besides the boat engine borrowed from Yamaha. OK, OK, specially created for Volvo by Yamaha...
But leaving the small engine impediment behind, since engines are an accessory to a Swedish car anyway, we will have everything. Maybe they will finally change that 1980s color for the dashboard lighting. That cheapish and 1980s-1990s USA-looking green. Maybe. Although I think it's part of Saab's heritage now.
In other words, an incredibly old car (albeit new), with extremely modest technologies although it desires to be modern, amazingly slow but “threatening” us with a revolutionary engine, etc. And big. Always bigger than the “competition”, more boat-like, more “luxurious”...
After being sodomized by GM for twenty years straight, Saab will finally be able to show the world what it can do. And how else could it do that besides partnering with another iconic brand, one which is throwing a party each time it sells a car – Spyker!
Spyker, along with the generous Swedish government, which collects taxes with the voracity of a T-Rex in full swing, thought that some of that dough might be “invested” in a local brand. Money is flowing anyway, so why not?
How else would they pay the salaries of over 3,400 people working for Saab? With the money of other people who are working to make a profit in order for Sweden to own some iconic brands in the oh-so exciting automotive world.
Either way, it will be interesting to watch the evolution of Saab, now that they can't really complain about GM's dictatorship anymore. For all that's fair, we had began to mistaken too many brands with Saab. From Opel to Subaru and a bit of Chevrolet, just about any GM car that could donate something was helping create this mutant on wheels called Saab.
Now they want to set themselves free and show us what a real Saab means. It is my right to doubt any commercial success but it's their right to try and contradict me.
And if you were wondering what's the common point between Spyker and Saab, there is actually one, just so you know. They're both selling so few cars they can actually compete each other. Even though their targets are way different. I'm actually afraid Spyker sales might actually be cannibalized by the acquisition of Saab.
Who knows? Maybe the rich and eccentric, who just wanted to feel alone on the road might switch to Saabs. I mean, they are expensive, they do break easily, so they have all the qualities of an exclusive car. Plus, you shouldn't forget the main quality: it's a Swedish car!
Now that that Saab saga is approaching a glorious ending, I'm anxiously awaiting the Volvo episode. Another soap opera that will spill a lot of tears and some Chinese capital and maybe, just maybe, another exclusive brand might also be left with an auto industry icon.
GM didn't make such a bad move after all, did it? I mean, if you buy something cheap, use it for twenty years and then sell it for good money... Doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Americans. This is why some people curse them on every occasion. They used to be beautiful, blonde, young models. Now GM and Ford are throwing them in the garbage bin and they're also getting money for it. Old, ugly and wrinkled, only the Chinese could still buy them. OK, the Dutch have never tried to have the highest morals at a given time before either...
They will find their place, probably in a Chinese village, where they are presented as Europeans in a red window display. Special, for the connoisseurs. Or together with a blue pill and a legal smoke. There. At their place. In Holland.
Say something bad about the Germans now!
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28.01.2010 | 18:17 GMT
Hey Charles buy chinese car and be happy
28.01.2010 | 21:57 GMT
Woohhaaa f***ing doodeli for American car design...
If I remember it correctly it was the American car companies that almost brought the entire US to bankruptcy with their lack of inovation and design... ;-)
29.01.2010 | 03:08 GMT
Where in Gods name have you been and what drugs are you on?,
you do not know what or who you are talking about!, if you did you would now be a leach on the Rear end of GM swilling down the total lies and rederrick of the company that gave us the Chevy Chevet, that is Made in Germany at the Opal plant, then snuck over here and sold and told it was built in the USA.
think again all of the last 4 Chevy Malibu have been made in Sweden or Germany Look it up, GM is a pimp Bankers of other than themselves Automobile Manufactures, look it up then say what you need to say and get your Head out of GM's colon and smell the free concept of fresh Air and non preprocessed colon juice that GM is spreading all over the place as some kind of Strange but true factoid. Grow up and smell the truth about one of the best Automobile manufactures in the world!.
where do you believe the new Malibu, Lacrosse, and most of the Caddilac 4 door automobiles come from the Car Fairy? come and put new cars in the Show rooms for GM?.
Grow up and do your over payed under utilized Brain - Job, boob!.
29.01.2010 | 10:09 GMT
That can be right like that, but these last 20 years, car industry all over the world has destroyed more than created value. If we put a price for financial disters, energy (gasoline) providing, toxic manufacturing processes, pollution, cost of dead and wounded people, we find that this industry is not so profitable.
29.01.2010 | 21:40 GMT
You made me laugh !
I might not share all your opinions but I'm not so optimistic neither about that Saab-Spiker misalliance. To me, the only result to expect is a longer lasting agony for Saab. Have mercy, just kill it now.
31.01.2010 | 00:17 GMT
Bravo !You sound like one of those T-Rex dinosaurs leaving in Cold War era from GM.The GM- lets be fair with American people-arrogance and ignorance (*please don't take it to personal)put industry on the bricks doing nothing except renaming modifying taking from Saab putting the company almost in the grave. But 9.7 X( a piece of.....Chevy truck desingn perhaps in 1960s) is a genuine GM sign of stupidity today.BSS-Big Strong an Stupid that is the definition of new design and....Not anymore what is good for GM is good for American people.Mr Ecllesttone was right GM neglected Saab in order to compensate other brands.Think about this the entire small engine program for GM is based on SAAB. Saab was the guinea pig for GM and some time the experimental subject dies! That was the GM leadership drive-Who cares!But please don t point the fingers before check the facts
31.01.2010 | 09:51 GMT
if the british and the americans are allowed to build cars,i can't understand why swedes won't.even the chinese and the indians are building cars now!what is said about saab's chronic illness made worse under GM ownership/supervision:low sales,fearsome development costs and somewhat poor reliability,is all true.
but car companys grow and change:the v6 is as distant from saab's original two stroke as is a ferrari v12.yet their cars are now equipped with v6 and v6turbos.translation:you have to see changes in a company's philosophy and approach,otherwise it will die.the right changes.
saab was never intended to be a car for the masses.it appeals to certain individuals who can look beyond the outer shell of a car,and focus on safety and practicality.yes a saab is somewhat more parctical than a merc or a beemer(altough not everybody appreciate mercs and beemers) on snowy and rainy surfaces,in hot weather,when you need to haul cargo with the hatchbacks 900/93,has more front end grip than most fwd cars,and when pushed hard can outperform mercs and beemers with similar or more horsepower,and offer respectable driver ergonomics.
and all what i say can be backed with my experience with saabs( i own currently a very well maintened 900 ng v6),beemers and mercs.
yes saabs are flawed,they have eccentric characteristics and weaknesses not shared with many other car brands but they are great.and you might not find a single saab owner who has not been mistreated one way or another by a saab dealer.but we all like our cars and we won't give a damn to anybody who doesn't. .and to see for yourself,check the pre 99 saabs,before GM total acquisition.
you are obviously biased against saab,and all the owners of the 1,5 million saabs on the road will disagree with you,but there is only one thing that you won't be allowed to do:MAKING FUN OF A COMPANY'S INNOVATIONS OR MAKING FUN OF A COMPANY WHO DARES TO BE DIFFERENT.
31.01.2010 | 20:16 GMT
Oh man you are so frustrated. You thought long before writing this or it's just natural for you? Either way, just give up!
What happened? A swedish girl dumped you recently or what? Are you a virgin?? Pffffff lame man, so lame...
31.01.2010 | 21:53 GMT
LMAO ! Thank you very much :-)
But seriously, have you ever driven one ?
01.02.2010 | 00:29 GMT
Well this was 5 minutes of my life that I'll never get back, wasted on drivel.
01.02.2010 | 10:31 GMT
This was he worst opinionated BS I have read in a long long time.
If niche players like Mini can sell 45.000 cars a year, only in the US, I am absolutely convinced a new Saab can sell 100.000 world wide with 3+ different models.
I don't like the Spyker cars, but the synergies seem evident for both companies, IMHO.
01.02.2010 | 10:57 GMT
Hey guys! First of all, thanks for all the comments, everyone knows that every opinion is important. Second of all, as some of you have realized, this is an editorial. This means that it's a piece of writing intended to promote a personal opinion or an editor's perspective about a certain subject.
In this case, it's my own opinion about Saab and/or Volvo, but mostly about the Saab and Volvo we know today. I realize there are a lot of hardcore Saab fans out there, but they too have to realize that liking a brand shouldn't make you blind. In the last twenty years Saab has become nothing but a milking cow for GM, with absolutely no products of their own and it's only but a shadow of what it once stood for. There are hardly any reasons for anyone to think they will return to their former glory after all these dark years.
01.02.2010 | 12:47 GMT
Mon Chere! let-s give Caesar what is Caesars!#1 When joint venture between FIAT and Saab created on same platform Saaab9000 Alfa 164 Lancia and Fiat almost 1/3rd of BMW and Mercedes owner switched on Saab or Alfa! #2- Milking cow or milked cow? Why well let s find out couple facts pasive and active ocupants protection-Roling cage and self loking seat belts-I am talking 1980,s,PMM-or power modulation to save a bulb it pulsates-before LED was used,SRS system with belt pretension ,Saar headrests,turbo technology(evidently You-l say is from Scania)Direct Ignition, Ionization ,front wheel drive technology,even Folding Cupholders and Glove box with cooler option! I can continue for days! What is very intersting lots of those goodyes are incorporated in Cadillac ,Opel ,Vauxhall, Saturn Chevy Buick and ....Subaru!When You put some ideeas in mass media You have to asume there are Pro and Con but we don t talk about science fiction!Volvo has the advantage of being biger and they were doing what they want not what they have been told to do! Your ideea is pure taken from GM press office as is and smels like......GM.Finaly I Wish to say" If youtalk about foreing cars like talking about a Chevy You must be a red neck!" Salve et ill!
02.02.2010 | 17:51 GMT
Where did you people learn the English language?
02.02.2010 | 21:04 GMT
Mr Graylyf ;My deepest apologies for lack of english skils and typing too! But I couldn t take it anymore so please escuse my lack of english literature and have in mind some of Us are born or and live in no english speaking countries! Again My apologies!Au revoir mon Chere!Cio!La revedere!Hasta la vista! Bye! My best regards!
02.02.2010 | 23:15 GMT
Volvo's breathless engines? This editor needs to drive a T or R series Volvo. Heck my '98 S70 T5 pulls 0-60 in 6 seconds quarter in 14... and will outrun a corvette on the highway. Its one of the fastest highway passing production cars. The same engine is used in the C30, and S60. Don't let the small displacement fool you. Even the old Turbo 740 wagons had kick to them. Speed is not this Sweeds problem :-). However Saabs engines have left much to be desired...I never cared for Saab at all.
02.02.2010 | 23:27 GMT
GM trashed Saab... they had to many brands to begin with to keep Saab going. However I don't think Ford did to bad with Volvo. No need to change mechanical designs that have worked literally for the past 30 years. They are still safe, fast, sexy, long lasting machines that still dont rust! I blame Toyota/Lexus for destroying this niche.. I know my S70 will still be on the road, alive 20 years from now, and I know my neighbors 89 740 wagon will be as well. Toyota's repetitive commercials, propaganda, and subliminal message-like marketing to be an awesome car have loured us to there crap. I'll keep my 12 year old car that has yet to go in for major service and hasn't rusted out. Cant say that about my '94 camry that was on its 3rd exhaust system, and second engine at 135k.
02.02.2010 | 23:42 GMT
"If I remember it correctly it was the American car companies that almost brought the entire US to bankruptcy with their lack of inovation and design... ;-)" -
If GM and Chrysler were left to die and not bailed out the US would have been fine. Another 50,000 employees without jobs in the US is not the big of a number. However if wal-mart goes under... houston we might have a problem. GM and Chrysler should be left to rot. Ford needs to play it careful.. and right now they are doing that quite well and alot of that is thanks to Volvo technology, Now Geely will do the same. Volvo will probably always be a niche car, and thats fine with me. You wont see me in a Toyota with everyone else -
04.02.2010 | 09:12 GMT
Well,I've read some of the views here,I don't really know too much about the history on Saab.
I remember Saabs when I was younger,and always thought they were some what unusual in design,just like I thought Citeroen(sic) were unusual. The International Financial Institutions,along with credit percentages being relaxed by the fed,is what almost done the the country in,including the rest of the worlds credit rating. The auto industry damn near hung themselves with bloated lineups and redundant product,saturated with SUVs. Saab had the misfortune of being a car company that had a specific appeal and following. GM had no idea to make the brand more competitive and salable. Hopefully,they'll still be around for a while,if not,it'll be in annals of auto history.
05.02.2010 | 08:55 GMT
Have you ever driven a SAAB or a Volvo? I own a Volvo and would not change it for anything else!
08.02.2010 | 10:35 GMT
Many comments reflect what I think about your article that I did not read all the way.. The Internet has taught me how to detect moronic articles.. at least I learnt something.
Saabs are great cars, they have something called class. You may not understand that, especially if you have never stuck your head out of a country where mayonnaise is as white as can be, presidents can't read, and the symbol of wealth is a military vehicle painted purple with flashy chrome wheels.
09.02.2010 | 17:19 GMT
My friend ''BATMANUEL" HALELUIAHHH<You are totaly right on the money,but you forgot to add _WHERE 4X4 is not always 16 and 15 or 17 is close enough .Also I do love mayonnaise, I make it myself (my grand, grand, grand mother combination -sometime in Baden Homburg) but is YELLOW. To bad i do not have Darveight's address so I could send him some! My best regards!
13.02.2010 | 00:42 GMT
Charles - editorial or not, get over it. You don't care for, or see much in, Saab. Wow, woopdidoo. You pretty much depict the masses, don't you? Hmmm, that doesn't seem to stop Saab fans from remaining devoted, does it? Oh, right, in your view they're just stupid. With Saab you either get-it, or you don't - that's why they're niche. You're a classic and all too common case of don't-get-it. Your loss. Continue in your cookie-cutter, I-think-like-everyone else, I-have-no-identity, I-have-no-imagination, ... YAWN ..., assembly-line Honda, Toyota, Lexis, BMW, ... ad-nauseam. True Saab devotees have sadly gotten used to, and numb to, this kind of illiterate drivel. They're constantly bombarded with those incredibly ignorant of what Saab and it's heritage is all about, and why that's significant. But why should you care, you don't get it.
18.02.2010 | 17:48 GMT
What an ignorant rant!
Working for a swedish company in central Europe we had Saab 9000 cars and they were Great! Cruise at speeds of 220kmh where possible on the Aurobahn in Germany like you were driving 50Mph on some interstate in mass restricted America. Two Liter with Turbo = faster and cheaper and "funner" to run. That just does not exist in any American Tub.
Thanks but, that was driving that was a bit more dramatic than being in a herd of Pickups (dumpsters) or Suv's (mother-mobiles) with no possible view of the road ahead.
Saab 9000 will always be the car to remember for me. I drove them for close to ten years and had Merces and Beemers to compare them to. Easy to forget that GM or Ford even existed in compairson. GM's takover of Saab put an end to all that of course.
I have driven plenty of GM Sleds over the years but never anything to compare or even get close to the Saab 9000. Excellent for winter driving and also much better than Volvo. Love those heated seats which were always standard.
220Kmh is 135Mph for those who don't know. Try that in your GM product but be careful because their tires are not made to run that speed and may melt under you.
19.02.2010 | 15:09 GMT
Being the owner of a SAAB 9-3 hatchback version from the early 2000's (the new model 900 style), the 4 cyl 2L Turbo is a jet on wheels. Hit the gas, the turbo kicks in sounding like a quiet jet engine on the wing, and suddenly you are going a lot faster than you should be. It'll beat the crow out of most 6 cyl. engines. It's a great car, and also handles well. The only downside is getting a good Saab mechanic, both at your dealer or for an older model an independent guy who knows his stuff. The only real issues we had was an ingnition issue (now fixed) and a dashboard LCD display funkiness (fixed twice). You can also get a very nice older model certified preowned with extended warrenties for a lot less than you think.
19.02.2010 | 15:13 GMT
BTW folks, back in the day, SAAB approached GM in order to expand sales and impact, not the other way around.
19.02.2010 | 15:17 GMT
Just a comment on car designs today - other than a few high end (ie. very expensive) models most people don't have access to, the vast majority of international car design (to me) looks like something they carved out in a big block of soap (so it looked pretty nice) then they blasted it with a firehose and it got all droopy and rounded, and the lights weirded out and they all blend in with each other.... I'll take my Datsun 240Z (if I still had it) anyday over anything put out these days.
19.02.2010 | 16:32 GMT
Dear Robert 9000 was a delight car,based a commmon platform Saab- Fiat,and at the tiome was the deffinition of a modern car. When Saab 9000.Alfa Romeo 164 Lancia and Fiat(more or less) about 30% of BMW and Mercedes owners in western europe switchedon Saab and or Alfa.I am a proud owner of a 2004 9.5 Aero in wich engine i did stuck my nose pushing the power to 295 HP. But the best was my 93 9000 Aero wich ended with 300 HP! My last ticket with that car was obout 350 dollars,and the new owner from Colorado got one in second gear at almost 90 MPH!I wish to find a SUV truck or any other GM "INOVATIVE DESIGN" a power ratio at list 100 HP per liter.
19.02.2010 | 17:01 GMT
I just forgot,That Saab has now285000 miles =456000Km
21.02.2010 | 08:48 GMT
This article was meant to be fun to read. And it was. But the author got it all wrong when it comes to the quality of SAAB cars. Look up the statistics, and you won't find SAAB on the bottom of the failing car lists. At least not in my country. I have never owned a car more sturdy and solide than my current SAAB (95 model). Now approaching 300.000 km, without having had any faults at all along the way. Add in the safety factor. And that's the same story for all the SAAB owners I know of. I used to have Opel, Fords and Mercedeses, but in my opinion - you can't go wrong with buying a SAAB!
I am not a swede, but I tell you: swedes puts quality into whatever they do. Now wonder they are called the germans of Scandinavia.
Good luck!
25.02.2010 | 16:46 GMT
I had a SAAB 9-3 Coupe a couple of years back-and liked it very much.It was well made,comfortable,excellent heating and ventilation,had good performance,good steering and superb brakes-but guess what? The only let down was the GM sourced body platform,and poor suspension,making the use of the ample power a very cautious exercise.I gather the Swedish engineers tried their best with modifications,but the paucity of the original design proved hard to overcome.Such a pity that Ford Europe were not in control rather than GM-they DO know how to make a car handle well!