Opel Insignia to Use Park Assistant
Opel probably had all those tormenting questions in mind when it decided to fit the Insignia with its own Park Assistant. The gadgetry does exactly what it names says: assist you while parking. Let's see how...
Opel says it is a "perfect tool for car drivers who don’t have the courage to fill in a narrow spot". We say its the perfect tool for coward drivers, who have no eye-to-hand coordination skills. Narrow spot or not, if you have a driving license, you should be able to park by yourself.
"The Park Assistant makes parking a breeze." It finds spots where the Insignia can fit. In this case, you're one of those drivers who only look one meter in front of their car and never turn their heads left or right.
"As soon as a sensor located on the side of the vehicle recognizes a space, it signals the driver on the central display and begins giving steering instructions." Remember what we told you in the first paragraph. "Steer left", "steer right", "brake", "breath in", "breath out". Makes us wonder how in the world you got your driving license. Did they only test the way you keep your hands on the wheel?
The Park Assistant comes to complete other technologies featured on the Insignia, such as the Eve Front Camera, which recognizes traffic signs...Please, stop! WHAT? Recognizes traffic signs? What are YOU doing? Taking a nap? Can't read? Cannot interpret symbols?
Okay, as you can see, we're a bit p****d off. Driving is about knowing, doing and liking, in that order. Parking is one of the easy challenges which come with a driving license. If you can't do that without the Park Assistant, go pay 645 euro for it. And get out of our way...