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A Model S 85 kWh with "Minor Dents and Dings" for the Price of a Base Model 3

If one hour spent in front of a computer with an internet connection taught us anything is that the World Wide Web is full of creepy people that have no idea how creepy they are. Which, obviously, makes them even creepier.
Tesla Model S for sale 5 photos
Photo: Seller on Craigslist
Tesla Model S for saleTesla Model S for saleTesla Model S for saleTesla Model S for sale
You don't even have to go looking into the darkest corners of the online community because they don't make any efforts to hide. You'll find them in the comments section of any website (you're welcome to have a go right here if you want), you'll come across them on forums, on Facebook, on YouTube - anywhere. And even if you can't find them, don't worry, just sit back and wait: they will find you.

Like some of our previous reports show, Craigslist makes no exception. And when creepy people that don't know they're creepy try to sell something, it makes them super-creepy. Take, for instance, this man from San Francisco who wants you to buy his Tesla Model S.

The man knows he used to own a nice car, but he seems completely oblivious to the fact that it's been nearly totaled. Yes, the chassis is still intact, and the EV can still turn its wheels, but still, advertising it as a vehicle that "drives perfectly" instantly puts you out there with those who claim have been kidnapped by aliens.

The man says the Model S has been in a crash "but has been repaired except for the obvious" - which... is pretty much everything, then. We fail to imagine how a workshop - even the shadiest one - could take a car, claim to repair it, and then let it leave looking like that. "The hatchback opens and closes and latches, and both taillights work, so it's perfectly legal to drive," the seller announces. Yes, it may be legal, but you know what else it is? Embarrassing.

"All the doors work" - great, that means you can be embarrassed together with four of your friends. "The airbags and seats and seatbelts are fine," he says, but after saying this car "drives perfectly," allow me to have a few doubts over what he defines as being "fine." And just in case you're still not convinced about the opportunity presented in front of you, here's what should seal the deal: it's got a Panoramic Sunroof (exclamation mark).

As you might imagine by now, the price is not negotiable (he wrote it in CAPS, but I respect you). That means you can either wait for a few years and get a base Model 3, or pay $35,000 now and enjoy this beautiful Model S 85 kWh instantly. I don't care about the car, I would just like to meet this man. Unfortunately, I would have to be "serious" in order for him to arrange a test drive, and I'm sure he'd be able to tell that I'm not from a simple phone call.
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About the author: Vlad Mitrache
Vlad Mitrache profile photo

"Boy meets car, boy loves car, boy gets journalism degree and starts job writing and editing at a car magazine" - 5/5. (Vlad Mitrache if he was a movie)
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