Pedigree of the Brands - A Different View of the Story... ...Many of us own cars which come from rather famous brands. Plenty of times, even if you hate to admit it, the badge is the main reason to look at a certain car and, in the end, it's the decisive reason in actually choosing the "perfect"model. OK, there ... Continue reading >
100+ years since the invention of the self-propelled car, three new engines battle for a place in the automotive future. Which one do you see in your car 10 years from now?
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Opinions given by Sir May B. Bach
Sir May B. Bach
Sir Bach is the richest member of our team. Maybe even the richest man in the Northern hemisphere. Fact is, we don't even know how does he get the time to participate on our test drives, considering he's usually busy taking his two homosexual Great Danes to the stylist, filling up his personal squadron of gold-plated Gulfstreams or petting his own pack of albino chinchillas.Apparently, he was knighted after he made a very generous contribution to the Queen's treasury. The exact amount of money is unknown, but immediately after this, the British GDP miraculously rose with almost 5%. He really enjoys luxury and the finer things in life.
Favourite quote: “Luxury ruins republics; poverty, monarchies.” - Charles De Montesquieu
Color me disappointed. I don't know if you realize this, but pretty much every BMW you made me... ahem... test drive has been all wrong. Apart from that dreaded 120i Cabriolet, none of them had rear-wheel drive, all of them were diesels and all of them were... ...
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So, now you've started a crusade in order to... ahem... discredit me. A hearse? From Honda? Are you kidding me? Why would I ever be caught driving a thing like this? I mean, even after I eventually die, I don't want to be driven in a hearse. I've already instructed ...
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And I thought that Kia or Dacia were the only brands with a model line-up that I truly... ahem... despises. Toyota has jumped a few places on my "brands that I hate" list. After all this recall madness you're making me drive a car that can... ahem... actually ...
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I see what you did there... ahem... trying to trick me into liking this car, eh? What did you think, just because I almost have royal blood flowing through my veins (OK, by alliance), and I kissed the Queen's hand, I should like everything that comes out of Britain ...
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Have you guys ever paid any attention to how the... ahem... Germans spell "Opel"? I think it's so funny it makes albino people tan... Umm, yeah, I know. I've been told I have an odd sense of humor before. It's probably from my German genes, which I got ...
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"To infinity... and beyond!" This line is one of my favorite lines in... ahem... movie history. Well, that and "In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns." Yes, I'm a big fan of Toy Story and The Godfather... ahem... what can I say? ...
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You know, I sometimes get the feeling you guys have a very... ahem... odd sense of humor. From time to time, immediately after you put me in a 100+ grand Porsche sedan you make me drive a sub-15 grand... ahem... Korean substitute of a car. It's like eating the brain of ...
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Heh... what can I say? They've finally done it. Porsche has finally built a car for someone like... ahem... me. Luxurious, stupid-fast, spacious, etcetera... ahem... etcetera. But wait! Something's wrong here... They also hired a designer with a pretentious but unusual ...
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I know, I promised myself I would never... ahem... ever climb in a Dacia again. After I drove that... ahem... Ecto 1... or Logan MCV... whatever it's called, I had to take a two weeks leave from running my self-made empire because I had to puke all day and all ...
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If I were to choose a single German... ahem... Sauerkraut-loving car company to like, it would probably be Porsche. Except for that atrocious Cayenne Diesel, I like pretty much all of their... ahem... cars.
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I have to say I was a bit flattered when you offered me to drive this... ahem... car. It's not every day that I get to drive a future Aston Martin model that's not even... ahem... on the market yet, right? I actually never thought I would ever say this about an... ahem. ...
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A Porsche badge on an SUV? Blasphemy, am I not right? A disgrace to car fans all over the world. Then I test drove a Cayenne Turbo and I completely... ahem... changed my opinion, it's like it had brainwashed me or something...
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You know I've always said that if something is good-looking with the top on, it should be a thousand times better with its... ahem... top off. Not to mention when talking about... ahem... cars. Now, if something is crappy with its top on... ahem... we shouldn't ...
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Bella machina... ahem... Cuore Sportivo... ahem... blah blah blah. Well, even I can oblige to everyone's opinion about the MiTo's design. Yes, I'm man enough to... ahem... admit it myself. The Alfa Romeo MiTo is a good-looking car, even though it's so tiny it ...
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You guys can officially color me disgusted. The man who designed this... ahem... abomination, that Coco guy, should be flown to the Amazon jungles where he should get bitten by some... ahem... godforsaken dinosaur bird with rabies or something, catch an exotic flu ...
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This is so effing... ahem... funny! You gotta love these ridiculous Germans! They go from ruining one brand after another. It's almost like watching a snuff movie depicting a corporate suicide. And you know who's responsible for this... ahem... huge doo-doo? Just ...
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Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time there was this... ahem... little poor boy. He was so poor that he had to eat his cereal using a fork just so he could save milk. He also had to share every meal with his... ahem... seventeen brothers and sisters. ...
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You know what I never liked about Opel? They have been Volkswagen's... ahem... b*tch ever since the guys from Wolfsburg launched that dreadful little car they call the Golf. The Golf spanked Astra's behind with each and every generation it came. Then came that ...
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If I ever fulfill my dream of becoming a car company... ahem... CEO, let's say, of Volkswagen, the first thing on my dictatorship agenda would be to outlaw every engine that makes less than 150 horsepower. Seriously now, 122 horsepower on a sedan? What is this, the ...
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"Adequate". Now that's a word I plan to completely... ahem... forget after this test drive. You're calling a crapmobile "adequate"? What is wrong with... ahem... you people? This is the second, and... ahem... hopefully the last time we will ...
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